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Never expect a narcissist to apologize. They won’t because they don’t feel bad about what they have done. Sometimes they will acknowledge something and then later they’ll tell you that it didn’t happen. If they’re not gaslighting you, they’re probably turning it around to make themselves the Metallica Baltimore Ravens shirt and I will buy this victim. They will never admit their wrongs. A narcissistic parent can openly call you a fat slob, but some will do it more subtly, like “Oh, are you gonna wear that shirt outside? It’s a little bit small around your waist.” This is underhanded and passive-aggressive but subtle enough to plant small seeds of insecurity in your head. These seeds germinate and push your self-esteem into the ground. As a result, you grow up having no self-love, self-esteem and can’t stop paying attention to that voice in your head that tells you that you’re not worthy or good enough. Another way they will lower your self-esteem is by comparing you to other people. They compare you to other kids, making it seem like they got the short end of the stick by having you Why couldn’t I have a child that acts like that or acts like this? Even if you did the best that you could, it will never be good enough for them because they’ll always find a person to compare you to. They just have to make you feel bad about yourself because, don’t forget, they have a wound within themselves. They have shame within themselves and so to quiet that, they try to throw that shame on you. Narcissistic parents make the black sheep feel like trash, like this person does not matter and is inadequate. They will then put the golden child on a pedestal. But remember they don’t really love the golden child; they just love the image that the golden child represents. They’ll try to pit siblings against each other and since they live for drama, they thrive in situations with potential for high explosive emotional reactions. They’ll sit you down and actually talk about your problems and make it seem like they’re trying to get in your head to help you, but really they’re trying to get an emotional response out of you and make you upset. You will probably leave in tears a conversation that started with just a question. Often they need to call family meetings because they are running low on drama and are searching for an emotional response.
I would say the Metallica Baltimore Ravens shirt and I will buy this last thing they’d want for their children is to allow them to be their unique, authentic selves or to have the freedom and resources to follow their interests, use and develop their talents and do what they love most so they grow and thrive, as they’d not be able to control them in the way they want, which is what all narcissists want; to control. A child who’s encouraged to follow their instincts and is allowed to make mistakes and learn from them will begin to discover who they are and what they are here to do than those that don’t and Narcissist parents don’t want that, their children mustn’t to be that free. Narcissists only think of themselves and what they want and when they get it they want to keep and control it, that includes their children. I think that most narcissists see their children as opportunities to enhance their own image and ideally to become extensions of themselves. If they turn out to be the way they want then they’ll take the credit for creating them and for anything they do well. If they do better than them, they’ll show them off like prize possessions. Most narcissists will try to mould the child from the start. If however they stray away from how the want them to be, by showing interest in something they’re not interested in, doing something ‘wrong’ or showing any kind of rebelliousness or worst of all questioning or challenging the parent, they’ll likely be severely admonished for it. An example of this was my hugely ambitious narcissist (and alcoholic) ex mother in law. Her son (my ex husband) absolutely adored sport, particularly football which he showed a great talent for and as a young lad was selected for the junior team of a national football club. His mother considered footballers to be idiots and told him he was stupid for even thinking about being one; she wanted her son to be a politician and to rise to the position of prime minister. So she sent him to Winchester College, where his sporting talents were recognised and he became captain of the cricket team amongst other things but not once did his mother show any interest at all and eventually he gave up. She constantly criticised and slated him and she didn’t reward him with praise when he got top grades in academic subjects, she just told him he could do better. As a result he never felt good enough and despite trying there was nothing he could do to get her approval or any unconditional love. So he developed a narcissistic personality disorder and at the age of 12 began to drown his pain in drugs and alcohol.